Thursday, August 24, 2006

Bloody Kids

No, not those we pay about five quid an hour to do basically bugger all.

Last night we were visited by a young kid who spent an inordinate amount of time at the DVD stand (which is well covered by cameras that are currently not operational). After a very long time under surveillance he came to the check out I was covering (dodgy middle-aged knee and all that). He presented two DVDs; one rated PG and the other rated 15.

He was barely tall enough to see over the check-out, so short and rat faced I was almost in awe of his brass.

"How old are you" in my stearnest voice.

"Fourteen, I'll be fifteen tomorrow." What a total MUPPET.

Back he went with the two DVDs muttering under his breath all the way.

He stood at the display for a long time before sauntering off empty handed.

I little while later an almost identical kid came in and made for the DVD display. I called out a colleague who recognised him immediately as the scion of a particularly disreputable local family, though whether the younger or older son she couldn't say - they're all short and rat-faced it seems.

The pair of us kept this kid under surveillance. Every now and then I could hear her murmer "Yes, I'm still watching you." The kid kept looking over his shoulder to find out if anyone was watching him.

Eventually he came to the check out with two 12 rated DVDs. We sold them to him afer he insisted that he was 12 going on 13. Having paid for the DVDs he turned about and went down the aisle with the sweets and chocolates only to reappear a little while later clutching various suger and E-number loaded crap. I made him put the bag up on the checkout but he was prepared for that and it only contained the two DVDs I'd already sold him. I supposed he had what ever he'd nicked hidden about his person.

The colleague later admitted that the second kid was the older brother, and since a third colleague confirmed that the two were virtually indistinguishable I can only conclude that the earlier would-be DVD purchaser was the 10-11 year old.

I arrived this afternoon for my final evening shift of the week to news of early morning thieves who'd been caught attempting to make their getaway with a cat's flea collar tucked down their pants.

The would-be thieves in question were a pair of seven (YES, SEVEN) year old girls who'd left their house just after seven, cased the joint not long after before coming in a second time, fallen under suspicion and been caught red handed - all before 8:00 in the morning.

After getting a stern talking to from the GM (aka, the Stud, the Sex Pest etc) they were driven home by him (accompanied by a female colleague who isn't his current bit on the side) and handed over to mother still half asleep and upstairs with her girlfriend. The two tea-leaves (for non-Brits Tea Leaf rhymes with Thief, okay?) were pretty shell-shocked by all accounts.

Mid afternoon mother, girlfriend and two kiddies turned up for a second and more formal interview with GM. I got my chance to give this pair of doe-eyed ransackers the once over. Close up their skin wasn't clean, and their clothes were filthy too, as well as ill-fitting. Seems they've been absonding from their home as soon as the sun comes up simply to keep themselves occupied. Sooner or later social services will become involved and it must be a good bet that absolutely nothing good will come of their lives, at all.

The best was yet to come, of course. Results are out today for secondary school students who as a result this evening were intent on going out on the lash whether to celebrate or drown their sorrows.

We had them all in, attempting to buy Vodka mixers, beer, straight spirits, beer and more spirits and more beer. New records were set for sales refusals between the hours of 8:00 and 9:00.

D was in too, though now only as a customer and therefore briefly. Damn it. No sign of the Scottish charmer who was in last night. Did I mention him? No? I guess I want to keep him to myself. Finished at 9:00 suitably knackered and grateful that I'm now off until Wednesday, which is most excellent.


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