A collection of believe it or nots

Re: the habitual drunk

Yes, we have no spuds - new spuds (which as you say cannot be roasted) aside. And this isn't good enough. We have a HOG who frankly isn't up to standard yet (and may not ever get there), and we've cocked up and ... but what else can I say. We know it isn't good enough and we're so terribly apologetic to those customers who come into the supermarket and found that the one key ingredient for what ever they were planning isn't available.

Has that happened to you? What do you do when it does? Do you phone the chain's area manager? Does he have your telephone number programmed into his phone so that he knows when it's "That Bloody Woman" on the other end of the line and about to launch yet another tirade? Probably not.

The Area Manager's considering putting a hit squad together. If you know any ex-SAS types at a loose end (and low rates) do drop him a line...

Kiddie Capers

More ineptitude from one of the now departed (back to University!!). Said Kiddie was presented with a piece of plastic after ringing up a customer's goods on Saturday afternoon. In good faith she proceded to deduct the entire amount from the card only to be told mid way through that the customer wished to part pay in cash.

That's possible ... the card transaction was cancelled and then the operator started again with a mixed payment.

Now the woman's on the phone insisting that we've deducted both the original amount and then the original amount less the amount paid in cash. Given that we absolutely do not trust our check out operators to do anything on their own initiative (even assuming for the moment that they're clever enough to do it) what the woman's suggesting happened simply isn't possible. If our checkout took the payment of the full amount then the transaction's cleared. For the customer to pay a second time a third party (ie, the co supervisor) would have to manually recreate the transaction. But as far as we can determine that didn't happen.

Miraculously the woman's receipts have evaporated. She'll have to rely on her bank digging around and squaring it with our head office finance people. Much to her disgust.

Christmas and Halloween

Goods are intermingled on the shelves and then they're also dispersed and unlinked to the promotion(s). More very careful attention to marketing.

Programming

Sometimes we have goods arrive unannounced and without the till programming required for them to scan correctly. A recent example was a range of Chapsticks. They wouldn't scan so I sent details to the chap up the road who taps away at his keyboard or does what ever is necessary to get the damn things working. Today they're working ... sort of. Two of them scan completely correctly. One scans at the correct price but with Orange rather than Apple in the description (on ticket and till) and the fourth simply still doesn't work.

I suppose three out of four isn't bad ... and he did get my chewing gum done

Dopy Dora

The woman we park on the checkouts in the evening is doing some sort of floristry course and can't get in on time anymore. So instead of working 5-9 she's now working 7-9. Fat chance of getting her to stay on and fill a few shelves after the public sod off in the evening. Fat chance of getting her to switch to working a weekend.

God knows what she'll ever amount to when everything is so damned difficult for her.


Big rant

We've taken on a smelly woman. She's going to go down well with the customers. She's the fat woman who's too overweight to get up the stairs without reaching a state of near collapse. Can't expect that she'll be a rip-roaring success.

Clean my trolley ... I have a germ phobia

A pocket battleship came to the store after rain and found that the available trollies with baby carrier fitting were all wet. She asked for someone to come out. "The trolley isn't dry. Is it too much to expect a dry trolley?" I sent the checkout supervisor; she dutifully took out some paper towel and gave the fitting and its straps a thorough dry-off.

That wasn't good enough. "The trolley isn't clean. Is it too much to ask for a clean trolley?" The supervisor came back and I gave her some baby wipes.

"Those aren't anti-bacterial wipes. Is it too much to expect the trolley to be cleaned properly?"

This was too much for the supervisor who is quite young. She came back in a state and I sent out the senior supervisor to deal with this awkward so-and-so.

"Is it too much to get assistance without sighing and eye-rolling?"

Madam... the trollies are all cleaned at the start of the day... if it rains, they get wet. This trolley will not be germ free within an instant of your child getting in it and entering the store (where it will come into contact with the great unwashed we provide a service to). I didn't point out that in her paranoia she's condemning her child to a life time of asthma and general inability to defend herself against the stuff that's just out there, whether we like it or not.

That child of hers looked at least four months old; plump, pink-cheeked and strong. It is just possible that this child has some condition or medical history that necessitates particular care... but in that case surely she could have made some allowances for that? She certainly gave us no reason to believe her child has any special needs (apart from a less neurotic mother).