Wednesday, September 13, 2006

I do so detest being taken for a moron

We have an electrical goods department. It isn't large, and the goods we sell are predominantly low quality whether bottom-end 'brands' or bottom of range from makers of better quality goods.

But if your iron goes bust and you haven't got time to go out of town and you need that shirt ironed now, we've got something that will get you through the crisis and probably not by starting an electrical fire that burns down your house.

One less than enjoyable by-product of selling shoddy goods (oops, did I say that) is the high proportion that are returned. We pretty much don't quibble; we will give the returned item the once over particularly if it is brand new - a lot of our customers don't have the patience to read the instruction manual. I guess they just assume that the new one works exactly the same way as the old one and bring the new one back doesn't ... or something.

Some stuff packs up after a short time, we refund or replace where possible.

One recent Sunday a notorious battleaxe came in to collect a deep fryer we sell at about £35. About three hours later she came back complaining that it wouldn't work; that the lights would come on but the element wouldn't heat... She swore she'd cleaned it as best she could, and of course she still had her receipt.

We took the thing into the office and unpacked it; it certainly looked clean, at least at first. The lights did come on but the element failed to heat, just as she'd said. Except that when we were rearranging things to get them back in the box we noticed quite how use-stained some less obvious parts of the fryer were.

Naughty, naughty Mrs F.

She's one of the richest women in town and one of the tightest. Seems she wanted a brand new fryer without the burden of actually having to pay for the damn thing.

Knowing quite what a stink the ghastly old witch can make we gave her her money back. She left in her battered old mobility cart with the satisfaction of a good (rip-off) job well done, while we could console ourselves with not being quite as stupid as she continues to think we are.

As for valour .... well I'm afraid that's another matter.


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